Just don’t sit down or else the Toilet Monster will Eat you!

Hey Folks, there is only one safe way to do this.

Want to ensure that you’ll never get a girl pregnant? Well, today’s your lucky day - and all you need is a basketball hoop.

He Shoots He Almost Scores - Watch more Sports Videos

So for some reason, someone thought it would be cool to make a safe entirely with Legos. It’s actually pretty high tech and it has a door that opens automatically when you enter the correct combination. The only problem is, how hard would it really be to just take a few bricks off to get inside?

What a cute gun.

As if this fat man wasn’t hurting society enough (eating excess amounts of food, causing disgust to every passing citizen), he is now wasting Floridian tax money.

“A hankering for special sauce at his neighborhood Subway led a Jacksonville man to dial 911 - twice - after the sauce was left off his spicy Italian sandwich.

Reginald Peterson, 42, told officers he called the emergency number so he could have his subs made correctly, according to a police report. A few minutes later, he dialed 911 again to complain the police weren’t arriving fast enough.

Peterson walked into the Arlington sandwich shop about 7:45 p.m. Thursday and ordered two subs - a spicy Italian with everything and a chicken breast. When he discovered the spicy Italian didn’t have sauce, he demanded that it be corrected, according to a police report.

Employees told police the burly construction worker became belligerent while a sandwichmaker was working on his order, then went outside to call 911 “so that the police could have his sandwich made to his specifications,” the report said.

“We put everything that he asked for on it, and he comes back hollering at everyone,” said one employee, who wouldn’t give her name because of company policy. “He was mad because we didn’t put any sauces on it.”

When officers showed up, they said, they attempted to calm Peterson and explain the proper use of 911. Those efforts failed, and he was arrested on a charge of making false 911 calls.

He couldn’t be located Saturday for comment .

As for the sandwiches, Peterson instructed officers to throw them in the garbage.”