Que. I’m 19 and I think I’m addicted to masturbation. I masturbate so much that blisters and cuts are forming on my penis. The cuts are really beginning to hurt; it’s even painful to walk now. Can you help me?

…

“The FLOWBEE Vacuum Haircut System allows you to create the most popular haircut styles.  FLOWBEE can cut your hair from 1/2″ to 6″ long in any 1/4″ increments. Simply select the desired spacer depending on the length you want your haircut. Then attach the spacer to your Flowbee. Haircut styles of your choice are easy and clean. Longer than 6″ haircut is possible with the addition of more spacers available on the parts page.”

Sounds great! It’s fun, cheap and easy to clean up! I must have one now!

I hope I never have to experience any of this!

Hooch: Bread and fruit kept in a plastic bag until it ferments and becomes alcoholic. Disgusting!

Cho-Mo/Tree-Jumper: A child molester…the most hated person in prison.

Punk/bitch/Ho: Someone who “takes it in the back.”

Bootie Flu: AIDs

Peckerwood: A racist white guy.

Cap: A cap off chapstick which is used to measure weed.

Lean: Cough syrup that after heated and cooled can give you a buzz.

Moist: Means you’re soft.

Canteen: Stuff sold to inmates from the state.

Store: The prison hustler who sells canteen outta his cell.

Keister Bunny: Someone who keeps his butt packed with something.

Fifi: Something used to simulate sex. You roll a trash bag in a towel and put warm liquid inside.

Wikipedia never ceases to amaze me. Look at this article about putting a series of the word “buffalo” into correct sentence structure.

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo

After reading that article, I still don’t know how 8 buffalo used in a row can make a complete sentence: Where is the subject and the verb? Why didn’t our English teachers teach us this! I would imagine that you say each “buffalo” with a distinct tone, like a song! BUFFALO buffalo buFfalo buffalo

Yeah.

I was looking at duffle bags and I came upon this item.

For those of you too lazy to click, it’s the “2006-2011 World Outlook for Duffle Bags and Knapsacks [DOWNLOAD: PDF] ” and costs $795.00.

If you read the description, you can see it is very poorly written: It doesn’t make sense at all. It starts off with this phrase, ” WHAT IS LATENT DEMAND AND THE P.I.E.?”

Who cares what latent demand and pie are; I want to know about the world outlook on duffle bags! Seriously, who spends their time to research such a pointless endeavors.

The author should change the title to “HOW TO NOT SELL A BOOK”.

Yeah. 

This lady has some really embarrassing $5,500 but implants. They are sagging and look really bad and have even caused her some pain. I feel bad for her, but the news anchors sure don’t!

 

Lefkos Hajji wanted a special engagement for his girlfriend. Something that she would not forget. He came up with the brilliant idea to put his $12,000 engagement ring in a helium balloon. He thought his girlfriend would be impressed by his genius when he popped the balloon at the same time that he “popped the question.” BRILLIANT! As Hajji was walking in the beautiful London weather (sarcasm) a gust of wind blew the balloon away. He followed the balloon for two hours in his car but eventually lost it. Hey Hajji I have a play on words too. The wind blew away your balloon and at the same time blew away your chances of getting with any girl EVER. Fortunately the girl isn’t as stupid as Lefkos and won’t talk to him until he gets a new ring.

NO.

This site ashleymadison.com was created by another Internet genius. Why can’t I think of these things?! What better way to make money off people’s misery???

So the site isn’t the most attractive, but it can be completely anonymous and even has an escape button, in case the wifey, or husband, walks in suddenly. I’m guessing it’s useful for many people and it shows how much society has changed in just the last 20 years.

LOLLLL hope this doesn’t happen to you…

So I was thinking of how cool it would be to put a vanity plate on my crappy car and wanted to look for examples…

1 MPG…damn Hummers

AARRRRRRRR

BLOND

NOT OJ…OJ’s getaway vehicle if you didn’t know

EAT THE (Kids First)

GLOBL WRMR

(V)AGINA

TIMMAY…from South Park

JETTA…ironic?

Another rapper finds a new way to make money without a brain.

First it was Crunk Juice by Lil’ John, now it’s condoms! That’s right…Lil’ Wayne started a condom line called Strapped LOL. I love the name, and I love Lil’ Wayne…I’m definitely investing in some of these.

I’m definitely gonna stay Strapped 4 Life!