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Apr 16 2008

I stole your Alligator

Published by UltraYeah under Animals, Funny Things, News

This guy in Texas decided to steal an 6 foot alligator and put it in his car. Fortunately, he was caught by a state trooper, before he was eaten. Come on guy, what can you do with an alligator?

The trooper told Eyewitness News that William Johnson found the gator in the road near Angleton and loaded it up into his Buick Regal, then broke into a house in Brazoria.

DPS Trooper Steve Stanfield explained, “From my understanding, he tried to get a big screen TV out of the house. He couldn’t get it in the car by himself, so he recruited a neighbor, who, when he saw the alligator, dropped the TV and said, ‘Alright, I ain’t got nothing to do with it.’”

View the story here.


Yeah.

No responses yet

Apr 06 2008

Hilarious Comments from an Indian Sex Blog

Published by NO under Funny Things

funny india Hilarious Comments from an Indian Sex Blog

Que. I’m 19 and I think I’m addicted to masturbation. I masturbate so much that blisters and cuts are forming on my penis. The cuts are really beginning to hurt; it’s even painful to walk now. Can you help me?

sanjay p: hey..U shagged to glory.. and now ur dick hurts.. Well.. I can understand what that means..Anyway..Out of pure exp.. i can tell ya.. try some ointment/cream and keep the dick well moistured the whole day..Use some moisturizing cream or get Betnovate and try it out.. 2-3 days and dick will be back to normal..And yes.. when treatment is on.. shagging is gone..Hope my advice helps ya..
Jaggu:U better use Colgate Gel.
Trust me it will really work….

Ksheu Uehsk : Dear Friend, One most important thing to be known is that the skin of penis is very soft, i think you are using ‘Soap’ for masturdating, if so, my friend soap contains acid, which is harming your willy. Stop using soap and start oil as an lubricating agent. I hope my suggestion will help you with your problem.

Kaushal: All the advice that’s given above is really helpful to me, thanks to everyone,but i need an advice regarding this….I face the same problem the guy faces and in addition to that, i also face dullness, nervous tension( feel like some parasites are eating my nerves ) and loss of mental alertness ( i always feel like sleeping a lot), this nervous tension also caused me bad results in my exams.
I remember i shagged an hour before my EAMCET exam looking my neighbour girl and my ranked dropped to worst.
please help me out, i’m 20 now!

2 responses so far

Mar 27 2008

Greatest Invention of the 21st Century: Flowbee

Published by NO under Funny Things

“The FLOWBEE Vacuum Haircut System allows you to create the most popular haircut styles.  FLOWBEE can cut your hair from 1/2″ to 6″ long in any 1/4″ increments. Simply select the desired spacer depending on the length you want your haircut. Then attach the spacer to your Flowbee. Haircut styles of your choice are easy and clean. Longer than 6″ haircut is possible with the addition of more spacers available on the parts page.”

Sounds great! It’s fun, cheap and easy to clean up! I must have one now!

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Mar 26 2008

Funny Prison Slang

Published by NO under Funny Things

I hope I never have to experience any of this!

Hooch: Bread and fruit kept in a plastic bag until it ferments and becomes alcoholic. Disgusting!

Cho-Mo/Tree-Jumper: A child molester…the most hated person in prison.

Punk/bitch/Ho: Someone who “takes it in the back.”

Bootie Flu: AIDs

Peckerwood: A racist white guy.

Cap: A cap off chapstick which is used to measure weed.

Lean: Cough syrup that after heated and cooled can give you a buzz.

Moist: Means you’re soft.

Canteen: Stuff sold to inmates from the state.

Store: The prison hustler who sells canteen outta his cell.

Keister Bunny: Someone who keeps his butt packed with something.

Fifi: Something used to simulate sex. You roll a trash bag in a towel and put warm liquid inside.

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Mar 23 2008

Wikipedia:Buffalo

Published by UltraYeah under Animals, Funny Things

buffalo bison 304 Wikipedia:Buffalo
Wikipedia never ceases to amaze me. Look at this article about putting a series of the word “buffalo” into correct sentence structure.

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo

After reading that article, I still don’t know how 8 buffalo used in a row can make a complete sentence: Where is the subject and the verb? Why didn’t our English teachers teach us this! I would imagine that you say each “buffalo” with a distinct tone, like a song! BUFFALO buffalo buFfalo buffalo

Yeah.

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Mar 21 2008

Most Useless Item on Amazon

Published by UltraYeah under Funny Things

4193n6m49hl ss500  Most Useless Item on Amazon

I was looking at duffle bags and I came upon this item.

For those of you too lazy to click, it’s the “2006-2011 World Outlook for Duffle Bags and Knapsacks [DOWNLOAD: PDF] ” and costs $795.00.

If you read the description, you can see it is very poorly written: It doesn’t make sense at all. It starts off with this phrase, ” WHAT IS LATENT DEMAND AND THE P.I.E.?”

Who cares what latent demand and pie are; I want to know about the world outlook on duffle bags! Seriously, who spends their time to research such a pointless endeavors.

The author should change the title to “HOW TO NOT SELL A BOOK”.

Yeah. 

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