I have just the thing for you! Jatech, another useless company making useless shit has made disappearing car doors! This is great for people that can’t open doors…and if you can’t open doors you shouldn’t be driving…but anyway! I’m sure this amazing product will be consumed by every person like this guy here:
Homefront is a non-profit organization dedicated to helping people rebuild their lives. I saw these Youtube videos and really couldn’t help but laugh. These videos are suppose to be serious and help stop violence directed toward females. But whoever directed these videos really went too far: They are so extreme that only a fool could believe the scenario could be real. Watch these two videos.
Who does this? Oh, thanks for the coffee, but you SPILLED IT! I’m going to kill you in front of everybody. Seriously, if you go that nuts over spilled coffee I don’t know how you are able to have kids. This is a perfect example of how Homefront tried to take a domestic violence video to the limit, and failed.
You got the wrong percentage? Well that’s the last straw. Now you’re dead. I don’t even care if I go to jail: You deserve death, because thats clearly the wrong number. I’m right, you’re wrong cause I’m a guy and you’re a woman.
These videos really exaggerate domestic violence to the point were it’s ridiculous. Clearly, the problem in both these videos is about a physcopath waiting to explode. All it takes is spilled coffee and a percentage point off in a presentation.
Ever walk down the street, while texting somebody, and hit a pole? I’ve never personally done that, but I’ve almost fell off an escalator before while texting. London apparently has a lot of people that get distracted–while texting–and run into poles. Whats their solution? Pad the lampposts with a mattress type material. I think this is pretty clever, but how careless are people getting?
Somebody needs to invent an infrared radar necklace to warn people, before they do careless things like running into lamps.
So according to a very useful study worth the thousands of dollars average sex is between 7 and 13 minutes. Supposedly women like it shorter (the sex) while men like it longer…no idea what crazy people they studied. So far all you guys lasting more than 13 minutes, GO SEE A DOCTOR!
Related to this, for you crazy people that not only have sex, but also use cell phones, stop now. Another brilliant study says a cell phone may cause a reduce in sperm count, although they cannot find a relationship as of yet…cell phones are baby killers.
And don’t think I would forget the people who feel left out with this story. If you’re poor and don’t have sex…you’re life sucks…but there is a solution! The answer is homemade sex toys…
Send a text to every in your phone book, set to vibrate, and have a good time!
Those are Jell-O molds that are supposed to look like boobs…if you’re a girl you can mold something else!
Either a pumpkin or a melon, and no mess! Also a good prank…cover that hole and give this juicy fruit to your friend. What a surprise!
Good for when you have to have some alone time in Alaska…or on an ice skating rink…or on Everest…
Sometimes people love their consumer goods so much, that they look for a way to give back. What’s a better way to show appreciation, for your favorite product, than idolizing it on your car? I can think of no better way.
How can I show the world my love for Newport’s? The whole world will know you love smoking Newports, if you put giant Netport stickers on your car, while having obnoxiously large wheels. Mission accomplished.
This car sponsored by Ronald McDonald himself. There 26†Rims sticker on the window, so you know McDonalds doesn’t play around. But the only Big Mac’s in this car are the fully auto Mac-10’s, and don’t even ask for fries. Ba da ba ba baaa I’m loving it…
Chester the Cheeto eating cheetah is sponsoring this car. Look at the owner enjoying his favorite snack, while representing it to the fullest. Now everybody knows not to mess with your Cheetos.
We got another Cheeto’s fan! Cheeto’s must be doing something right.
Donkey Kong’s car is the most unique. It’s actually built so that only Donkey Kong can get in this car. This car has the biggest rims with the lowest profile tires I’ve ever seen. Donkey Kong does it bigger and badder than anyone else, especially with his cars.
This is the Coolwhip car, enough said: It’s just that cool.
How amazing would it be if everybody drove around in branded cars? Well, these guys are definitely ahead of the game. Next car I’m going to get will be the Dominio’s car: I love their pizza and want everybody to know how much I appreciate it.
