I found the website of the most amazing, wonderful and extraordinary man today; his name is Ghanzarya Shandaharo. In fact, he is so amazing that in his biography page it states, in three different paragraphs, how he survived a rocket explosion. When a man writes about a rocket explosion three times, he means real business. Also, not only did he survive the “big [rocket] explosion”, but also an earthquake. Now I can understand a rocket explosion, but surviving an earthquake? Come on, this guy is Amazing, with a capital A! Call Chuck Norris, we have a challenger. Click here to visit his site.

 

His voice is so rough and rugged that he made an audio clip to prove it to you. In this Mp3 he talks about sleeping on the floor cause that’s what real men do. From now on, I’m sleeping on the floor with only a blanket because Shandaharo does: It’s part of his training.


 

Obviously, Ghanzarya Shandaharo is a real man, no wonder he survived: With a voice like that, you cause the earthquakes.
Quoted directly from his biography:

“Ghanzarya Shandaharo grew up without a family and he was raised like a soldier capable of surviving whatever, growing up without a family made him a true rough and rugged warrior and he has no fears.”

NO FEARS + RUGGED WARRIOR = Ghanzarya Shandaharo

 

If I was a woman I’d fall for Shandaharo in a heartbeat. But unfortunately, he’ll always be single because he is a lone wolf. This rugged warrior does what he pleases; women will only shackle this warrior’s true strength.

“Ghanzarya Shandaharo is single and he has always been single.
Ghanzarya Shandaharo has always been single because he does not like commitments.
Ghanzarya Shandaharo also does not like starting a family and therefore he will be single forever.”

Shandaharo, is also a quick learner.

“No one thought Ghanzarya Shandaharo how to use the computer. Ghanzarya Shandaharo learned how to use all the computer programs and how to navigate the internet all by himself.”

 
Yeah, that’s right. He learned to navigate the internet all by himself! Man, I remember the first time I went online, I had no idea were to go. At first I was scared to go more than a few pages at a time: I would always search for a term, then—like the weakling I am– immediately click back on the home icon. Alas, I was scared of getting lost in the deep grips of cyberspace. I wish I was a real man like Shandharo, and brave enough to embrace the vast cyberspace, alone. He even made a Youtube video!

 
LIFE ON EARTH- staring Ghanzarya Shandaharo

“Ghanzarya’s life has been full of drama and he has been threw it all, the war, misery, agony and tragedy.
To make things interesting, Ghanzarya is now living in North America, Ohio state & he is pursuing his acting career.
Ghanzarya Shandaharo is currently into acting with his own style, his own look and he is busy writing screenplays.”

 

My new hero, Ghanzarya Shandaharo, is writing screenplays and acting. Watch out Hollywood, Shandaharo is about to take his Rugged Warrior self and show you how a real movie is made. He’ll write the movie, direct it and play the main role. Now who do you know that can do that? Right nobody, further proving Shandaharo is amazing.

 

I finally know my purpose in life is. Maybe one day I’ll be able to experience what it is to be half as great as Ghanzarya Shandaharo. If only I could survive a rocket explosion and maybe an earthquake to two. Only then, will I be able to become a rugged warrior with no fears.

 

Here are some desktop wallpapers from his website. I choose to use the 2nd one because it reflected his ruggedness the best.

Wallpaper1
Wallpaper2


 

This guy is a riot.
Yeah.

This guy is about to show you a racquetball trick; it requires Newton’s third law of motion and a racquetball to the face. The trick is to hit the ball against the wall really hard, and also at a low angle. You have to make sure you smash the ball: With friction you’ll lose some energy and you want to get the full-ball to the face- experience. The actual magic comes when the ball comes back from the wall, and comes in contact with your face: The result of this trick is lots of pain. Believe me, getting hit with a racquetball doesn’t exactly feel like getting hit with a snowball. I’ve gotten hit before and hurts really badly; racquetballs are pretty solid with little elasticity. Anyways, check this amazing trick out.

 


 
EPIC Failure

 
This video is a good demonstration of why I don’t like playing racquetball, even when it’s actually played versus another person rather than your own face. You have to have a good sense of direction and where you are. I might seem common sense, but the game is really fast paced and before you know it your eating a wall.

 

Yeah.

1. Kill someone famous: this one is easy: the laws of physics say that fame cannot be created or destroyed. Therefore, if you kill that person, most of their fame will go directly to you!

2. Play the lottery every day for the rest of your life: sure you’re 250 times more likely to get hit by lightning, but you have a chance! Now I know what you’re thinking, “My name will just be in the newspaper and that’ll be it.” No that’s not it! With money, you can do anything. Therefore, you use your money to go to as many celebrity parties as possible, get as many celebrities drunk as possible, and sooner or later you’re Kevin Federline with a pregnant Britney Spears making McDonald’s commercials and rap albums. My momma always said: “If Federline can do it, you can to.”

 


 
3. Be persistent at something nobody else would even think of doing: Think of Perez Hilton. Nobody on Earth wanted to be that ugly, wear hideous clothes, die their hair shades of neon, and kiss the asses of scum like Paris Hilton and half-retarded celebrities FOR FREE. But he did it and look where he is now!

 


 
4. Beat your kid on camera: First of all, for those of you who think this doesn’t apply, read number 2, or beat someone else’s kid! And to make some money off it, make a big scene about how you’re “saved” and start a “non-profit” against child abuse. Make sure the video of the beating circulates on Youtube and once you get a healthy number of donations, the embezzlement party begins!

5. Exploit a cute little boy or girl: This one can work two-fold, you can beat the child and use his cuteness. Think of Elian Gonzalez: thousands of Cubans emigrate to Florida every year and we never hear anything about them. But finally when a cute one comes along, he’s world famous! If you have a cute kid put him in a vulnerable position-bonus points if he has to be saved by the government-and you, as the parent benefit! Again, you can use this to start a “non-profit” as in number 4.

 

 
6. Post something crazy, stupid, humiliating, or dangerous on Youtube: This is easy: Chris Crocker.

 

 
7. Form a cult: The easiest way I could think of doing this is going to a mental hospital and proposing your cultish ideas to every one there. I’m sure you’ll get some followers. Now you have to make your cult do crazy stuff. One thing I thought of is that your cult must go every Sunday to a sushi bar and eat there naked. If the manager tries to kick you out, do some crazy stuff like spells on him and just cause a scene. Eventually you’ll get famous, but try to do something that’s funny and won’t put you in jail.

8. Be as big a hater as possible: Go to anything and everything and hate on it. You can hate on Youtube, on a local television news camera with a sign in the back, on a celebrity, on a church, anything. Most important is to hate on something everyone else likes. This has worked for Simon Cowell, Lewis Black, almost every rapper, etc.

 


 
9. Ruin a professional sports team: See Steve Bartman.

 

 
10. Create an interesting blog: Just be persistent and write about something that every one would want to read. We all like to waste time online, so why not waste time on you?

Sometimes tow trucks fail at doing their job, and end up being the ones that need towing.

 



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These big trucks are having bad days.

Sometimes tow truck drivers can be reckless and not give a damn about people’s property: They just want to get their job done any way possible. Check out this video of the smartest tow truck drive alive..

He might have thought he was being efficient, but this was definitely not a good idea. Don’t worry the car on top only weights 4000lbs. Only.

 
Yeah

When the word “Prison” comes up you usually think of solitary confinement, for most of the day, with no fun whatsoever. This is actually not the case in the Prisons in the Philippines: Apparently, their prisons have dance programs. If you ever plan on committing crime, do it in the Philippines because then you can become a professional dancer after you come out.

Inmates dancing to Michael Jackson’s famous song- Thriller.

Inmates dancing to the popular Souljah Boy- Crank Dat Superman.

So how is it that these prisoners do dance with choreography that well? It seems like they have a lot of time on their hands, so they probably dance all day. If I was in jail, I’d do the same thing. But unfortunately, this will never work out in the prisons in the United States: Just imagine all the Southern Mexican gang having a dance off with the Krypts. Yeah, that probably will never happen, so your only option-in USA prisons- is to workout and get strong orr read the bible.

Yeah.

It was 8 PM on Monday and I had just finished a meeting with my group for my MIS (Management Information Systems) class. I was in a hurry to get back home so I could study for my economics test the next day, but oh wait, I had to go back to Jester Market to buy a blue book for the test and a pen…that’s right…I’m in school and don’t have a pen. So I go down the huge hill and get my pen and blue book, and start going back up the giant hill.

I’m pretty relaxed and not in a hurry to get back to studying now and am just cruising. I stop at the stop light and debate whether I should go through the red repeatedly, but because of my paranoia and fear of cops, I decide otherwise. The light turns green and I’m going pretty fast…1st gear…2nd gear…3rd gear…4th gear…CRASH.

Let’s step back. I come up to the first stop sign and there’s a black Ford Ranger truck that just pulls up. The truck stops and I check his lights…no blinker. So I decide I don’t need to stop at the stop sign, the truck is going straight. WRONG.

As soon as I’m passing the guy he turns right and I am there on my bicycle blocking his way. The truck wins, I go flying,my bike meets Death, and my body meets the concrete. I get up right away feeling a little hurt but fine, check my jeans (they aren’t ripped :D) and the guy comes out to help me.

What do I decide to do? Laugh. I think it’s funny and stupid and he begins to laugh and I say it’s OK and he goes on his way. Then I realize I can’t ride my bike, I didn’t get his insurance, and I have to walk up more hills with my bike in my left arm and an achy body.

I finally get home, this is by the way the hottest day of the 2008 in Austin, TX, and I laugh and show my roommates what an idiot I am. I get to my room after feeling stupid in front of them and call my girl friend to tell her how stupid I am. She’s shocked at first but we laugh about it…and my arms starts to hurt.

I think it’s nothing, that it’s just a scratch and check my legs for scratches (jeans are still OK!) and get on the computer. The arm starts hurting more and my girlfriend suggests I go to the ER to be safe. I take a look at my insurance card and see $200 vs. $75 if I just wait until the morning. She suggests I call my dad, he tells me don’t worry about the money, and we’re off to the bus to go to the ER.

We get there around 10 PM and it’s packed. My arm is really starting to hurt and nearly every one in there has a sore throat or some other BS. Seriously, why do people have to go to the ER for a cold…Anyways, we sit there and wait…and wait….and wait…woohoo! It’s 11:30 and my name is called. I go to the back and get my blood pressure taken, they ask my pain level (I say a 2/10 like an idiot), and they tell me to go back to the waiting room…

I wait there for another hour and woohoo! my name is called again at 12:30. My girlfriend by the way is sitting with me through all this…So we go back and since my pain level is a 2 i have to sit in the visitor’s area. I sit in this visitor’s area for 2 hours! I’m finally called to get x-rays done and sit in the waiting room for another 2 hours!

Then the nurses begin to fight because they don’t know where any of the patients’ charts are. The retard in front of the charts says to not worry about it and when they get mad at her she says “whatever”…

The doctors finally get back from trauma at 4:30 and tell me I have a very small fracture. I opt to not get the splint and he gives me a prescription for Vicodin.

We’re so tired of the hell that is Brackenridge Hospital and decide to walk back since the buses stopped running long ago. We step outside and it’s no longer the warmest day of the year, it’s one of the coldest. We step back inside, call a cab, and 45 minutes later the guy arrives. We get home around 6 and fall asleep almost instantly…

The next morning I e-mail my economics professor. I ask for a make-up and I expected this was an excusable absence, but he tells me the final will replace this test grade. THE FINAL IS NOT EASY!!!

So, in conclusion, this week has been horrible. Oh yeah, when I woke up that morning I had a text message saying that Yao Ming is done for the season and playoffs…WOOHOO…