The famous creator of Star Wars unfortunately slept with a whale and created this offspring. Luckily for us she isn’t trying to use her father’s fame to become a model or actress, but this is pretty disturbing…She should definitely try to find work in that chick roller hockey thing and pro create with the Star Wars Kid.

After two divorces and a book that made every person in sports hate him, Jose Canseco is desperate for money…really desperate. Canseco and his promoter are looking for someone to pay $5,000 to fight him (he’ll probably be on steroids) on July 12. If you wanna fight him email fightcanseco@aol.com. I’ve already sent my email and hopefully some of you can join me!

Antwaan Randle El, one of the fastest players in the NFL, claims he return a kickoff against a bear. a bear expert said that bears can run 35 mph, while the fastest human can run 27 mph. However, Randle El claims that he could out-juke the bear.

I’m guesing he had a conversation with some friend as they watched Animal Planet that went something like this:

Randle El: Dat bear slow dan a muhfuka, no way he run 35 mph.

Friend: Yuh betchu cuh outrun him.

Randle El: If dat bear saw mah juke he woo fah dawn.

Friend: Lez go get some Chuhch’s.

The guy who sent in these pictures said they were at an Austin bar (Vince still goes to UT to finish his education degree) and he got really drunk. They decided to take off their clothes, even though there were no girls around to show off to, and apparently Vince shut his eyes and just stood there for 5 minutes. Represent the #1 party school of 2006 Vince!

Soccer commercials are always the best.

A few months ago Barry Bonds passed Hank Aaron, his godfather, for the most homeruns in MLB history. However, before his commencement address at Concordia University Saturday he said “I still consider myself the homerun king.”

It seemed that Aaron supported Bonds on the occasion, even making a video for Bonds congratulating him. He then backed off the comment, complimenting all of Bonds’ accomplishments, but during the commencement addressed he told the students: “This is advice from an old man who has been a lot of places, seen a lot of things.” Be careful before you make choices. Avoid shortcuts. They are quick fixes and unrewarding.”

Jon Lester, a left-handed starting pitcher for the Boston Red Sox threw a no-hitter today against the Kasas City Royals (5th best hitting team in the AL). It was the 18th no-hitter in Red Sox history and the first time a left-hander has thrown one for the Sox since 1956.

The most amazing thing about this story is that Lester came back from cancer to start for the Red Sox. On August 27th, 2006 Lester was scratched from his scheduled start against the Oakland Athletics due to a sore back. At the time, Lester’s back problems were thought to be the result of a car crash he was involved in a few days before. On September 1st, doctors at Massachusetts General Hospital confirmed that Lester had a treatable form of anaplastic large cell lymphoma.

This is Lebron’s first Nike commercial at the stereotypical black church. Nike mocked a culture’s way of expressing religious fervor by using it to sell shoes.

Now we have the “We are all witnesses” tagline with a poster of Lebron in a particularly famous pose of Jesus. This is almost a direct quote from the bible: “You killed the author of life, but God raised him from the dead. We are witnesses of this.”

Then comes the cover of Slam magazine. The quote “Ask and you won’t receive anything” is the direct opposite of another quote from the bible: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

Next Nike creates a commercial that’s banned in China. Lebron James aka Jesus can defeat any Chinese god or symbol.