So according to a very useful study worth the thousands of dollars average sex is between 7 and 13 minutes. Supposedly women like it shorter (the sex) while men like it longer…no idea what crazy people they studied. So far all you guys lasting more than 13 minutes, GO SEE A DOCTOR!

Related to this, for you crazy people that not only have sex, but also use cell phones, stop now. Another brilliant study says a cell phone may cause a reduce in sperm count, although they cannot find a relationship as of yet…cell phones are baby killers.

And don’t think I would forget the people who feel left out with this story. If you’re poor and don’t have sex…you’re life sucks…but there is a solution! The answer is homemade sex toys…

Send a text to every in your phone book, set to vibrate, and have a good time!

Those are Jell-O molds that are supposed to look like boobs…if you’re a girl you can mold something else!

Either a pumpkin or a melon, and no mess! Also a good prank…cover that hole and give this juicy fruit to your friend. What a surprise!

Good for when you have to have some alone time in Alaska…or on an ice skating rink…or on Everest…

Self-explanatory…