10. Seattle, Washington

Starbucks, white people, and soon to lose their basketball team. Also a lotta rich people, never been there but it always seems to be near the top of these lists.

9. Huntsville, Alabama

Wannabe Houston (has the U.S. Space & Rocket Center), no professional sports, and no real downtown. I doubt this city would be any fun to live in. It’s also the hometown of Jose Canseco, so it Huntsville sucks as much as he does.

8. Albuquerque, New Mexico

I have been to the 2nd fastest growing city in the country and I actually did like it. It’s got good weather and beautiful views of mountains. Too bad it’s only got the University of New Mexico. It does however have the AAA baseball team, the Albuquerque Isotopes, the inspiration for the Springfield Isotopes and is the hometown for Neil Patrick Harris! Never mind I don’t like this city any more. Imagine having to type it’s name in Mapquest or anything else. Albuqweodabpdoig sucks!

7. Asheville, North Carolina

First of all, crappy name. Who the hell names a city after ash? Anyways, there’s nothing there. Small population means no big buildings or anything exciting. It’s got UNC and that’s about it. Not even any famous people live there. You know your town sucks when the front page of your newspaper consists of a failed condos, giving greater access to 18-wheelers to their roads, and a dead black guy (Houston news reports that every 10 minutes).

6. Stevens Point, Wisconsin

Wisconsin is cold all day every day, so it sucks. When your town’s claim to fame is the world’s largest trivia contest you have FAIL written all over your boring dirt. Their front page news? Six Honda Civics stolen by teenagers…I will never visit this no name town and feel bad for everyone who has to endure the world’s largest trivia contest running on the local channels half the year.

5. Tulsa, Oklahoma

The home of Western Swing Music, Oklahoma, and a shit load of tornados. BORING.

4. Greenville, S.C.

Greenville has a good view of the Appalachians and was once known as the “Textile Capital of the World,” but as NAFTA and Mexico have screwed that industry over they have offered crazy tax benefits (a la Texas) to lure big businesses. The only things I find wrong with Greenville are no professional sports, a small population, and not enough ethnic diversity. OK it sucks.

3. Chattanooga, Tenn.

Stupid name.

2. San Antonio, Texas

I’ve been to San Antonio many times and am not impressed. It emphasizes it’s Hispanic population way too much, has an annoyingly good basketball team, and the Riverwalk is really, really dirty. The Alamo is also boring as hell and is a tribute to some drunken idiots who were killed really easily.

1. Charlotte, N.C

Uhhh, it must sucks because the Charlotte Hornets left it for New Orleans. Apparently Charlotte is low on crime, high on jobs, and low on house prices. Sounds pretty good, too bad it sucks.

Basically the only city that I find livable in the U.S. is Houston. Yes, it makes me look close-minded but here are my reasons that narrow it down: the north is too cold, California is too expensive, I love big cities, diversity is amazing, I need professional sports, and Dallas sucks. I wouldn’t mind living in Toronto, Canada or having a house in Europe though!